How Cancer Impacts the Family

I was diagnosed, but our whole family was affected. My husband, sons, parents, siblings and family/friends were all worried and playing a role in small and big ways. Life had to move on, and in the moments when I felt like it truly stopped, everyone pressed on. The sun still set and the sun still came up each day.

When the surgeries finally end, and your day is not consumed with a medical appointment itinerary, you realize what you missed. I missed the basic things of my life and my day. I missed feeling energetic. I missed being awake to hear of the days events of our sons and my husbands many projects at our home. I could not remember what we did for some occasions and would often have the kids, or our son’s girlfriend (thankfully now his wife) remind me. My mind was in a fog, and I now know that if was not just me, but after sepsis it is a real thing for many people. You are healing and you feel like you are in a fog. I figured that was god’s sense of humor and his divine way of making sure I did not remember all the horrible events with every level of detail. After all, I have never been known to be a person with great detail, but rather a vision from an airplane view.

Now that I can reflect, I realize how everyone is affected and the healing is beyond the patient. My spouse certainly had to heal in his own way too. There were some losses for us all. Life is not always wrapped with a perfect bow on top of the package. As a couple we would have new things to work through.

As a woman, I had to face body image issues for the first time in my life. I now had scars to remind me of what happened. As time passed, the scars were ok. They reminded me I lived. We all have scars when you think of it. Some are inside and some are outside. They are part of life, and no one gets through life without them.